Wow, where the fuck do I start?
Umm, I’ll start here. People that know me know that I hate when people have something they should be telling me and they don’t tell me and I have to find out in a way that I shouldn’t have to. Really? I mean fucking really?? We’ve been friends.. for a while and you couldn’t be honest with me about this? FUCKING REALLY? Okay, it’s not exactly honest that I’m complaining about because since nothing was said, nothing is the truth and nothing is a lie. I’m mad because it just wasn’t fucking said. And know that I’ve had to find out in a way I’m not happy about, here’s an early apology because my anger might aim towards you instead of the motherfucker that deserves it.
And excuses? I’m tired. That’s my fucking excuse. No one should need excuses, for anything. But since you can’t be upfront with me, I refuse to be upfront with you.
I am so fucking mad. Stop feeding me bullshit, and tell me the truth right when it needs to be said.
I really, really fucking hate to end it like this but right now I really, really fucking hate you.
I don’t recall ever being this mad. Have I been really mad before? Yes. This mad? No. I know there will be days when I’m more mad, but I’m not worried about those days right now. Now, right now, and maybe for the next few weeks or months, or whatever, people are going to see how fucking strong I can become.
when somebody spends the entire day talking to you like shit and fighting with you and then asks “What’s the matter?”
I am so tired, of everything, of every. fucking. thing.
This may sound unrelated but too bad. I’m living in a place that I don’t want to live in and have no choice but to live in. I have maybe 3 things that I enjoy living here. The great times I have with my friends, the night sky.. it’s beyond beautiful, I swear, the stars take you on a trip themselves let alone the entire sky, and sleeping. I don’t want to wake up, I want to sleep, I want to get the rest I deserve. Common sense is unknown with mommy fucking dearest and her two mistakes of siblings. I’m not going to sit around and let her take her anger out on me when she wasn’t even there for half my life. She should be lucky that I actually wanted to see her. My sister hated her for YEARS and still does, but me? I always wanted to see her. Always, and she left? she should be grateful that I wanted to be here. And now, thanks to time, I have no choice but to stay here until I graduate. The one person who knew how to raise someone is dead, she’s not ever coming back, and… I don’t know, that could be why I’m not getting any rest. I sit up and think about how if I go back, I can’t hug her and tell her I miss her… I can cry though, that’s basically what I’ve been doing since, I don’t know… March? Of course no one notices though. Anger; caused by a few people, is not helping me. I shake and I slam stuff and I’m screaming out FUCK FUCK FUCK banging on doors, slamming doors, throwing my stuff against the wall because I have no other way to take my anger out when I can’t leave the house. I’m sick of my siblings, I’m sick of my mom, I’m sick of crying over something I can’t change, I’m sick of being lied to, and I’m sick of being worthless to everyone.
When one side of your favorite earphones decides to mess up out of nowhere
you know what pisses me off?
That moment when something makes you really mad but you fail at venting your anger